{"id":468,"date":"2014-06-27T21:51:47","date_gmt":"2014-06-27T21:51:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.joshuastairhime.com\/?p=468"},"modified":"2014-06-27T21:51:47","modified_gmt":"2014-06-27T21:51:47","slug":"envelope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.joshuastairhime.com\/index.php\/envelope\/","title":{"rendered":"Envelope"},"content":{"rendered":"

An envelope, while it remains unopened, is an entire universe of possibilities, terrific and terrible, glorious and gross. \u00a0Once disemboweled, however, all possibilities cease to exist, and we are forced to accept the contents as they are, unchangeable, immutable. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\"20140627_165936\"<\/p>\n

I have a small collection of envelopes sitting here on my desk, waiting to be opened. \u00a0They are not bills that I am trying to ignore, or ads from some company trying to sell me some service, but cards that were deliberately chosen for me by people who wanted to express something to me as I end my time working for The Alley.<\/p>\n

I really don’t know why I haven’t opened them yet. \u00a0I mean, there could be anything in these envelopes, but if I never open them, it only remains in the realm of possibility and can never become reality. \u00a0It’s like Shrodingers Cat<\/a> stuffed into an envelope! \u00a0With each bit of folded white paper wrapped around other more valuable paper, there is the possibility that someone has written words of encouragement that will stick with me for years. \u00a0Maybe a memory of a moment that will stick with them forever, maybe something that meant a lot to them.<\/p>\n

Of course the opposite is possible as well. \u00a0I know I have hurt people while I have worked here, I can not ignore that, and maybe one of the envelopes contains an extension of forgiveness, or a remembrance of a past hurt that I have not resolved. \u00a0Maybe I have hurt someone unaware and I will be struck by guilt over something I was unaware of until now. Am I ready to confront a ghost from my past if that is what one of the envelopes holds? \u00a0Am I prepared to fulfill the obligations that may be laid on me?<\/p>\n

It is foolish to continue to speculate while I can answer the question outright by simply breaking the thin barrier of paper and glue. \u00a0Unlike so many other areas of life, I can have answers, and I can have them now. \u00a0No waiting is required, only a few seconds of pulling and tearing. \u00a0Which I guess brings me to the real point.<\/p>\n

I am afraid.<\/p>\n

Not so much of the contents of the envelope, but rather, I am afraid of what the envelopes symbolize. \u00a0 They symbolize the end of one long chapter of my life (from a certain point of view it is literally half of my life) and the beginning of a new one filled with surprises and the unknown. \u00a0What parts of the last chapter will play in a role in the next? \u00a0Which people will continue to be a part of my story? \u00a0Will this be the last chapter? \u00a0(Always a possibility, however unlikely.) \u00a0Am I ready to face what lies ahead?<\/p>\n

For all of my complaints, I have a lot to be grateful for over the last 8-15 years, and I have had some experiences that I did not deserve, and could never earn. \u00a0As this chapter closes, I know it, and in knowing it I am unafraid of it. \u00a0The next is all clouded in doubt and debt and hard work and is difficult to see a beginning to, let alone an ending or additional chapters. \u00a0I must remember that this now ending chapter started that way too.<\/p>\n

So in a few moments, I will open the envelopes sitting on the desk next to me. \u00a0The possibilities will disappear and become definite realities. \u00a0I will no longer have to question what the envelopes contain, I will know. \u00a0I will have to respond to them as is appropriate in each individual case, I will have to react to what they contain and make choices about next steps.<\/p>\n

In a few short days, I will begin to tear open the envelope holding the next chapter of my life, and as I slowly pull piece after piece of priceless paper from that envelope, God will reveal what is next in my life, and I must trust that he will faithfully be there to preserve me, redeem me, fix me.<\/p>\n

As I open my next envelope, I encourage you to look for unopened envelopes of your own. \u00a0Be afraid, but don’t let that fear keep you from tearing open what God has for you. \u00a0Be afraid, but with each tear in the outer paper, ask God to use the pages the envelope holds to strengthen his kingdom.<\/p>\n

Open your envelopes…and I’ll open mine.<\/p>\n

\"20140627_170115\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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