This is our dog.

This dog…I don’t know about this dog.

I have a like/dislike relationship with this dog.  He is a couple of years old, but still jumps all over everyone who tries to come into the house including my mother who can barely walk right now.  He spends several minutes barking every night, so I’ll look out the door to see what is happening, only to find he is barking at his kennel.  For the last year or so, he has been on a 50′ leash, tied near the corner of our house so he has access to his kennel, food, water and a bit of room to run around if he wants it.   Unfortunately the leash is necessary.  When he is not connected to the leash, without fail he finds his way over to our neighbors homes.  If we allowed him to run free, he would be turned over to the dog warden, or potentially hit and killed on the roads that are near our home.  So while the leash is not our preferred solution, we have done our best to keep him safe and at home.

On Monday, he managed to wear out his leash.  It isn’t the first time he has broken the rope, so we just tied it back together again and returned to life as normal.

On Wednesday night I came back from two days in Indy, a little tired from working on various projects.  I walked in to the garage, and as is typical, was immediately pounced upon by our dog.  After fighting him down and scratching his ears for a few minutes, I noticed that his leash was detached again.  I made sure the garage doors were closed with him inside and went to bed.

The next day I found out that our delinquent dog, had seemingly mended his ways, our roaming rover roamed no more!  The broken leash still held him!  Apparently the leash had been broken for several days, and our wandering whiner had stuck close to home.

What is going on in this mutts head?  I would hate to try it, but I bet if I took the little remnant of yellow rope from his collar, he would be at the neighbors before we knew it.  What is it about this short thread of nylon clipped on to his collar that holds him back?  The leash itself has been severed, but it is as if its influence is still strong.  Is he afraid that at any moment the leash will become whole again and hold him back?   Judging from his behavior when he is not leashed, our dog longs to have the freedom to roam where he will.  Now, when he is free, he is willingly subjecting himself to captivity.

In late 2012 I started making plans to free myself from a job that I was no longer passionate about, that I no longer had the energy to give to it that it deserved.  I felt like I was being lead to pursue other projects.  I had made a personal commitment to stay on the job until a suitable replacement was found, so I hunkered down for what I hoped would be a short wait.  It was almost 18 months later when a replacement was finally hired to take over.  My leash was finally broken.

I have to admit that the visions of my “leash-less” future were pretty grand.  I already had three fairly serious projects lined up that I wanted to work on when my time was mine.   Instead I find that I still feel like I am living in the same captivity that has held me for years.  Sure there are a few unexpected circumstances that have changed the equation for me a little bit, but I begin to suspect that there will always be circumstances outside of my control that limit the time I have available.  I have found myself with an abundance of time just sitting and thinking, which would be a perfect opportunity to work on one of my projects in particular, but I find myself afraid to start.  Instead of making the smallest strides towards completing the project, I make excuses.

So what is holding me back?  Maybe there is a small thread of my former leash that is still dangling from my neck, powerless to actually hold me, but the memory of its pull is strong?  Maybe I am afraid of the becoming tied up again?  Maybe I don’t think I deserve the freedom I have found, or maybe I just want to wait until I feel like even the shred of leash still around my neck is completely removed.  I am as confused as our poor dog.  Unsure of what this new freedom means.

Our dog may not be “free” forever; as soon as he crosses out of our property, things will have to go back to the old ways.  He will have to relearn the way of the leash, before he can be trusted again.  While no one is subjugating me, no one is holding me captive, I have to realize that the freedom I do have right now, may not last forever.  I would be a fool to not take advantage of my broken leash, especially since I don’t know how much time I will have.  Instead of complaining or making excuses, I hope to take advantage of the freedom that I do have, I hope to make a better use of my time than I have to this moment.

Is there a scrap of leash still tied around your neck?  Are you still being held back by something that should have stopped having power over you a long time ago?  Maybe it is a relationship that went wrong but the emotional pain still holds you tight?  A dream that is lost, but you aren’t willing to accept your new reality?  Could it be that you are letting past sins and mistakes hold onto you?

Friend, I encourage you to identify the remnants of leash holding you, and do whatever it takes to eliminate its influence in your life.  Maybe you need to share your story with a trusted friend, or spend time in prayer approaching God for reassurance of forgiveness.  It could be that you need to forget a failed relationship, and start to open up your heart to take a few (calculated) risks again.  Of course the opposite could be true, and maybe it is time to stop letting the desire for a relationship run your life.  I could go for days and days creating hypothetical situations, and if you want to talk about your situation with a real person, I’d love to listen and offer what little wisdom I may have.

Maybe things aren’t as clear as all that though, maybe you feel trapped because you really are in captivity.  It could be addiction, debt, unfaithfulness, or just sin in general.  Maybe you are trapped in a dead end job and afraid to try to break free.  Don’t just accept your leash.  Go read John 8:31-36 and let me know if you find in those few short verses the freedom you have been seeking.  If you want extra credit, read the whole chapter!

You can be free…our dog on the other hand…let’s just wait and see.

Super Special Bonus Content:  “So am I” ~ William Shatner    I promise you won’t regret this following this link!