I’ve been enforcing radio silence lately.  I am, or perhaps more accurately, was an avid NPR listener, and as I have driven probably 30,000 miles in the past year, I have plenty of opportunity to listen to the radio.  There would be days were I would listen to the radio for 6 or more hours in the day as I drove to a job site near Bloomington, or Illinois.  So when the day came that I turned off the radio and didn’t turn it back on, it was a dramatic shift.

It is a common discipline in Christian circles to have quiet time, and I’ve found that many people find that quiet time while driving.  I’ve not been doing great at making use of the quiet time that I have created by turning off the radio, but I certainly have it available to me.  I have found some peace in not knowing what is going on in the world at large around me, because frankly, there is so much going on that it has been overwhelming to me.  Especially as I have proposed marriage to my fiance, I found the news frustrating and concerning.  If Sam and I are blessed with children, what sort of world will they be growing up in?  It doesn’t seem like the world is full of very much good these days.  So I have enjoyed being disconnected from disconcerting news.

I’m not sure it is the most peaceful thing I can be doing however.

If you’ve read any number of my 25 Days of Peace posts in the past, you’ll know that I am constantly wrestling with 2 sides of peace.  There is an internal peace, a satisfaction in your soul with the way things are in you, and there is an external peace, a peace that is reflected in your surroundings and your sphere of influence.  I can be both at peace and at war simultaneously, and not be in paradox.

I think that as I focus more and more on peace, I find that is where I need to be.  At peace internally, while I am at war externally.   There will be times where my balance will be shifted more towards one or the other, but the goal is to be constantly re-balancing.

When I turned my radio off, I was seeking more internal peace.  Now I find that I’m disconnected from the war raging around me, and I am starting to hear the call to re-engage.

While I’ve enjoyed the radio silence, it is time for another re-balancing.

Be sure to check out the other people on the journey with me at 254peace.org, or on our Facebook page.  There are some awesome people participating this year, and they all have something important to say.  

I’m sitting next to a lake, watching a sunrise and waiting for peak color. I’m inside a warm truck, and though the wind is quite frigid, I’m warm when I’m inside. I spent the night in a hotel, and I have a job to go to this morning. I was able to shower this morning, in water that was safe to drink, and wouldn’t make me sick if I swallowed some on accident. I’ll get breakfast a bit later, and I might even have some sort of warm drink to chase away the chill.

I seemingly have everything I need around me to live a very peaceful life.

So even though yesterday was a mess, starting at 2 a.m. with a collision with 2 deer, and ending with perhaps one of the worst headaches I remember in my life, I can wake up this morning and face the day knowing that I am truly in a good place.

I woke up this morning and didn’t discover that the home next door had been destroyed by bombs in the night. I woke up this morning and didn’t discover that Boko Haram came in the night and abducted all of the school girls from my village. I woke up this morning and the Burmese army was not at my door, forcing me to leave. I woke up this morning, and will have food to eat, clothes to wear, and water to drink. Everything in my immediate view is just fine.

In all my travels, I have met many people who can’t say those things, who can’t say that everything is just fine around them. I have met people who make cookies out of dirt to sell in the market. (If you don’t believe me I’ll show you the video sometime.) I have met people who lay dying in their parents home of a cancer that couldn’t be treated by the local health system. I have met people who have lost everything they owned, and people they have loved in an earthquake. Everything in my view is not just fine.

So how do we wrestle with this peace around us, knowing there is not peace for others in the world? I have been writing about peace each December for 4 years, and at the end of this year, I will have written 100 different posts about peace, and I still am not sure. I still don’t know the answer.

That doesn’t mean I will stop looking.

Often times we seek peace when have been hurt.   Perhaps it is something simple like a mean word overheard, or perhaps it is a deep and cutting betrayal.  Regardless of how big or small the injury has been perceived to be, their is damage to our spirit, and we seek to make it whole again.

Injuries can happen so terribly fast, sometimes it only takes one word to destroy who we thought we were.  The work of destruction is quick.

We have all watched this play out in a very physical way.  The World Trade Centers were built over a period of 5-7 years, costing millions of dollars and requiring the work of tens of thousands of people to complete.  While planning of the attack that took those buildings down likely took a while, once the attack commenced, both buildings were totally destroyed in just a few hours.

The work of destruction is quick.

The work of peace, is not.

It has been 16 years since the attack on the World Trade Center, and I can assure you that the world has not fully healed in that time.  In fact, one could argue that the world is in a worse place than before those attacks.  Wars rage around the world, many started as a direct result of this destructive act.  Other conflicts grew out of those original conflicts, and spreading like a grass fire, hot and fast, destruction has spread across the world.

The work of destruction is quick.

The work of peace, is not.

Those buildings crumbled in hours into millions of pieces.  Now, we who seek peace are left picking them up, one at a time.  I believe that peace comes in pieces.  A small chunk at a time.  When someone hurts me, while I may have already forgiven them, the process of rebuilding the relationship is one of small steps.

So if you have found yourself in a place of brokenness and hurting, and you’ve forgiven those around you, but you still don’t feel restored, take heart.  Peace comes in pieces, and while it is a lengthy process, the end results are worth the wait.

What small action can you take to restore peacefulness in one area of your life?

Who can you forgive today?

What wrong can you refuse to remember, today?

What unnecessary burden can you lay down today, transferring it to the able arms of Christ?

What piece of peace will you pick up today?

Be sure to check out the other people on the journey with me at 254peace.org, or on our Facebook page.  There are some awesome people participating this year, and they all have something important to say.  

Handcuffs are uncomfortable.

We used to have a pair or two floating around the house as kids, because with 3 brothers, you’re bound to need a set as you play.  I learned how to pick the lock on the handcuffs we had, so that I could escape when my brothers put me in them.  We managed to never leave anyone locked up too long, but sometimes we couldn’t help but accidentally tighten them too much, tightening them until they were pinching.   That can be a panic inducing moment as a kid, knowing that you want out of the handcuffs, but realizing they are too tight to be removed easily.  You certainly never wanted to be the person in the handcuffs, but rather the person in charge.

So, when I found myself in real handcuffs outside of a Walmart at 4 in the morning, I was definitely not feeling like I was in charge.

It’s a long story.

My fiance and I had been spending the evening together, and as often happens, time got away from us and we parted ways at 3:45.  I drove to a vacant parking lot and planned to sleep in the truck for the night since it was so late I didn’t want to travel back to Fort Wayne.   As I pulled in I saw a cop car darting back to where I would normally park when I’m too tired to drive, and decided that I didn’t want to interrupt anything they had going on, so I left and drove to the nearest Wal-Mart.

Apparently that was a suspicious action.  As a result, I was followed to Wal-Mart.  Shortly after parking I was approached by a single officer in a car, asking if I had seen anyone in a hoodie go by.  I said no, and he drove on.  I browsed my phone for a few minutes as I tried to wind down for the night, but a few minutes later I noticed a collection of at least 8 cop cars building up across the parking lot from me.  I shot my fiance a text about a story I would have to tell her in the morning, pressing send just as the officers got in their cars.  Then as one unit, they all drove towards my car, surrounding it and just like in the movies I was held under gunpoint as I was told to step out of the vehicle with my hands up.

At this point I was almost laughing at how ridiculous it was.  I wisely kept the smile from my face, and complied with the instructions I was given.  “Hands up!  Lift your shirt so we can see your waistband! Turn all the way around!”  It was pretty much like you have seen in countless tv shows and movies.

I was called over to an officer with my hands still in the air, searched thoroughly, and then searched again.  It’s possible I was searched a third time, but I’m not totally sure as it was all happening at once.  I was briefly questioned, and after answering the questions I was told to hang out for a few minutes while they kept looking for whomever they were looking for.

A few minutes turned into 10, and it started to sprinkle.  I certainly hadn’t taken time to put on my jacket before getting out the truck, and I was starting to get more than a bit chilly.  The officer who had been left to babysit me wasn’t very talkative, and certainly wasn’t enjoying the weather either, so after a few more minutes he told me that I would be sitting in the back of his car while we waited out the rain.

I nodded and started walking towards his car.  It was then that he mentioned that I would have to be handcuffed.

I’ve always done my best to be cooperative with the police, but I’ve got to tell you that I wasn’t mentally prepared to be handcuffed.  I hadn’t done anything wrong, and I still didn’t know why I was being detained.  What?  Handcuffs?  Seriously?

He was very serious, and proceeded to handcuff me, and place me in the back of his squad car.

So I sat in the plastic seat of the squad car, hands behind me, pressing into my back.  I waited, trying to make small talk with the officer.  He still wasn’t very communicative, and eventually got out of the car, leaving me alone in the back.  By this time, I’ve been in the back of the car for 45 minutes, and my hands hurt, my wrists hurt, my shoulders hurt.  I still don’t know what is going on, and no one is offering to tell me anything.  When the officer left the car, I seriously considered trying to get my hands under my legs so my arms would be in my lap instead of digging into my back.  I (wisely) decided that was a bad idea, and settled for changing position.

It was nearly 2 hours from my first contact with the police until I was released from the handcuffs.  I was placed in 3 separate cop cars during that time, each time wondering if I was about to be driven to the nearest jail.  I didn’t even know that there had been an armed robbery and that I was suspect until 1:45 into the whole ordeal.

Eventually I was let go, after my truck was searched thoroughly, and they decided I really wasn’t the person they were looking for.

It was an intense experience.

I’ve learned a lot from this experience.  Frankly I am now much more understanding of people who resist the police.  Being in the handcuffs was one of the more unpleasant experiences I have had in the last few years, and it is going to take some serious mental will power for me to willingly accept being in handcuffs again.  The way the seats are designed to hurt you the whole time you’re in the car seems deliberately intended to make you unwilling to be cooperative.

For a few hours that early morning, someone had stolen my peace.

Even now I’m much more nervous around the police.

It helps me understand in a way I never could before why some people are terrified of the police.  It helps me empathize with others who have had negative interactions with the police.  I left our interaction unharmed and free, but it also changed my perspective on law enforcement significantly.   I can now imagine how growing up in a community that is regularly held under increased scrutiny could be nervous in situations that seem so innocent.

I tried to remain calm throughout, but as time continued to pass and I continued to not be told anything, I began to be pretty worried.  I thought of Paul and Silas in Jail, and imagined trying to sing hymns in the back of the cop car for my release.  Sadly, I didn’t try it, mostly because I was so worried that I wasn’t sure where to start.

How did Paul and Silas remain so peaceful?  I know the answer in my head, but clearly my heart has a lot more work to do,

I pray that one day, I will have the peace of 2 hymn singing jailbirds more fully than I had that night.

One of the things I learned about in Sunday school, all those years ago, was something called the “fruit of the Spirit”.  The fruit of the Spirit is found in Galatians and is basically a litmus test for whether the Spirit is living and present in your life.  It is an extensive list, and it was so thoroughly drilled into me, that I have no trouble remembering it (as long as I can say the list in order).

One of the fruits of the Spirit is Peace.  So we could choose to focus on it tonight.
Or is it really that simple?

There is an interesting bit of grammatical trivia relating to the word fruit that I think can help us see more deeply into the what the fruit of the Spirit might really mean.

When one uses “fruit“, it means a single fruit like mango, orange, and so on. But when we use “fruits” it refers to different kinds of fruit; for example “there are fruits in the basket” means that there is more than one type of fruit in the basket. Fruit is an uncountable noun, so it has no plural form.   (Source here)

The Bible says that the fruit of the Spirit is…

It doesn’t say the fruits of the spirit are.

Each item on the list isn’t just one type of spiritual fruit, the equivalent of an apple for love, or a kiwi for joy.  Each item in the list is one thing.  It is fruit of the spirit.  One thing.

So, the fruit of the spirit isn’t just love, or just joy, or just peace, but love, joy, AND peace!

The fruit of the spirit is love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  All of those things are the fruit of the spirit.

Peace could be summarized as the result of the work of love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  If I love someone, I will seek peace with them.  Joy is only found in the presence of peace, Without patience, there is no peace.  Without kindness, peace is meaningless.  Without goodness, peace is irrelevant.  Faithfulness is a foundation of peace.  Without gentleness, peace can not exist.  Without self-control, peace can not be maintained.

In fact, if we look closely at the list, I think you’ll find that each concept listed, can be constructed using the other concepts listed.  No single concept is complete without the support of each other concept.

It’s pretty circular, but I think it works.

So perhaps if you have been seeking peace, and unable to find it in your life, you should look to the other fruit in the basket.  Seek peace in love.  Seek peace through joy.  Patiently allow peace to work in your life.  Bring peace to another by an act of kindness.  Peace can be found where goodness (fairness or justice) prevails.  Faithfully pursue peace.  Gently lead others down the path of peace.  Keep the peace in your life by exercising self-control.

To know peace more fully, seek love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Against these things there is no law.

It has come to my attention that my original post left out faithfulness.  I apologize for my error, and have corrected the text to include it.  A huge thank you to my darling fiance for pointing it out to me.  

Be sure to check out the other people on the journey with me at 254peace.org, or on our Facebook page.  There are some awesome people participating this year, and they all have something important to say.